Being Reduced to an "It"

Let me tell you one of the many reasons I joined this profession was my utmost intolerance for bullying and disrespect amongst children.  I make it a hidden agenda to deflate any child's view that others are inferior to them or that some tasks are just too beneath their status.  Those are absolutely disgusting thoughts and believe me this change of mind set is not an easy fix. I bet you can think back to your childhood and think of a time you were bullied.  I definitely can.  Look back to your childhood and think of a time that you were the bully.  I definitely can.

What do you think of when I say the word bully?  Is it some stereotypical caricature of a large tough male student who steals lunches and beats the little children up?  Guess what... that is a really shallow view.  Read Odd Girl Speaks Out  by Rachel Simmons to see the expanded image of bullies.    

"Bullying is a conscious, wilful, and deliberate hostile activity intended to harm" Kidsareworthit.com

The above quote comes from one of my heroes, Barbara Coloroso.  Read her books.  Go to her conferences.  She hits it home.  Coloroso states that bullying is a way of dehumanizing people.  What does that mean? A bully treats their victim as if their victim is an "it", a thing that can not feel emotion or has no voice or power of their own.  When you dehumanize someone, you are demonstrating that this person has no worth or value.  Now I know I might be sounding very dramatic or exaggerative here but look up the story of Reena Virk, a student in Victoria, BC who was killed by a group of middle school girls or watch the documentary Bully.  (I bawled through the entire thing.)  Bullying is real and the mistreatment does not end when children end their schooling.  It is all around us.  For example: sexual harassment, hazing, bribery, violent threats, physical, mental and emotional abuse, cyber bullies, racist or sexist demonstrations, derogatory terms used, gossip and rumours... shall I go on?  

Again it comes back to demolishing this view that we are somehow superior to other people and able to walk all over them and treat them like dirt scum.  As Coloroso puts it, bullying leads to hate crime which leads to genocide.  The three have the same underlying reason: lack of compassion and demoralizing people to an "it", creating this idea that it's acceptable to harm and hurt others.  Prime example: Northern Ugandan child soldiers who were bullied and manipulated to witness, experience and do awful things.  These young cherished children were mistreated and forced to partake in a genocide or fall victim to the genocide.

I'm trying to wrap my head around this and think of some new innovative idea that will change the face of bullying forever.  All I can come up with is the Christianese slap-it-on-a-bumper-sticker answer of loving your neighbour as yourself.  Don't roll you eyes and say "that's nice".  Jesus commanded this for a reason.  Think about it. What would the world look like, if everyone actually did try to live out this command?  I think their would be a lot less bullying, injustice and hate crime going on in the world.  How would the world look if we taught and modelled to children respect, compassion, and acceptance of neighbours, coworkers, or the employee at the restaurant that screwed up the meal order?  As it was put in the documentary Bully, "It's time to take a stand." Friends let's live out the words of Jesus and be kind, caring and respectful to one another.

peace & love

If you would like to know more about what the heck I am talking about here are some useful resources.

Barbara Coloroso's kidsareworthit

Odd Girl Speaks Out by Rachel Simmons

Bully documentary

WITS anti-bullying program

story of Reena Virk

Pink Shirt Day Anti-bullying awareness

Restore Northern Uganda Documentary with some very graphic stories of child soldiers